Most people would find it shocking to discover that in California, despite mandatory spousal consent laws and information material for disclosure purposes in conducting transactions that might affect future marital property interests, California CRYO Banks don’t bother to verify the sensitive nature of relationships of known parties to ask them proper consent questions when they broker, as a third party, sperm donation transactions.
I am not discussing anonymous contributions, pay to play deals, where a CRYOBANK tests, screens and resells the sperm for a profit.
I’m talking about the fact that any hustler with a vagina can “open an account” and get an otherwise, emotionally unavailable, known sperm donor to go in and deposit sperm for her amoral, recreational, reproductive uses without alerting a married donor’s spouse to the suspicious transaction, that could possibly affect her future marital property equity interests.
Apparently in the eyes of altruistic institutions such as CALIFORNIA CRYOBANK, married men own their sperm. They consider these unique, disposable, tadpole swimmers (gamete substances) to be the “separate property” of a male donor and thus a man does not need to get his wife’s consent to “gift” his sperm away to parties “outside of” the marriage.
But in the reverse situation, women whose positions, which are “similarly situated”, like being “married” are held to a much stricter standard. They must get the written consent of their spouse to gift their female gamete substances away. Even if a woman is not married, but in a relationship with a significant other, she still needs her sexual partner’s consent and written permission to contract out her eggs to another third party. Women it seems are treated as chattel or second class citizens. Who do not have the proper sensibilities to control the use of their “separate property” eggs.
You would think with equal protection, due process laws in place… What is good for the GOOSE, should be good for the GANDER ???
But, OOOpps…. apparently that would be an inappropriate, biased assumption. Male ducks can be promiscuous as heck, with no accountability. But let’s see, Geese ? Well, gggeeseus …. they get asked such invasive questions as to “who is their actual goose husband” or “what goose are they regularly shagging or living with ?” And sorry gals, but us Cryobanks need to protect our legal behinds and we need that male’s signature for such a goose-gamete egg transfer.
Back in 2001, when I found out that my ducky husband had been deceitfully manipulated and cozened into acting as a known sperm donor for his sociopathic business “friend”, who was a married woman, I tracked down and called up the mystery sperm bank and was told outright that I had no right, whatsoever to ask any personal questions about my husband’s ejaculation “transaction”. That, by the way, blatantly violated California marital consent laws. The bank was appalled at my rightous indignation. So they characterized my justified alarm and concerns for my interests as being inappropriate, rude and claimed I was unduly aggressive towards their staff. Because I dared to challenge their donor consent policies and to ask personally invasive questions about the sperm recipient.
To conduct a business in California, a business has to follow all of California’s laws. CA. CryoBank (CCB ) apparently felt certain inconvenient, pesky CA. transaction laws do not apply to their sperm banking operations.
Unfortunately, it took seven more years and a discovery subpoena to finally uncover all the deceptions committed by the unscrupulous sperm recipient. She had fraudulently misrepresented material facts, (like, alleging that my husband was her spouse with a different last name) to open her sperm bank account. She was maliciously able to do things like this without any proof (-i.e., a marriage certificate) to verify her relationship status in order to skirt legal hurdles. HER word was good enough for them in their books.
No wonder the sperm bank was so arrogantly hostile to me. I was cast in the worst of light by the toxic dispersions of an interloper’s smear campaign. Who told the clinic that I was the EX-WIFE, when that was a lie. CCB was covering their legal backside, because they knew they had never bothered to ask my husband “who he was actually married to” when he filled out their vague information questionnaire. They just asked him, “if” he was married. Then he just handed over his little cup, full of SWEDISH SPERM and signed away his rights to the use of his superior “sailors”. If they had asked relevant consent questions like, …. is this woman opening the account your wife ?….perhaps the sperm bank just might have discovered there was a possible conflict of legal interests and fraud.
Those pesky, investigative, invasions of personal situations are just so inappropriate to ask a man according to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. But for a woman, no question or personal detail is beyond scrutiny. Sperm is just a commodity that ethically blind Sperm-Banks profit from. So storing coveted sperm for some manipulative, lying hustler was no problem, because the crone paid the bill.
As certain truths game to light that year, my husband asked that the remaining ( supposedly non-viable) sperm held by CCB be destroyed. We argued this because the deranged Babymama had by deceits and false promises coerced my husband into donating sperm to her and then later she reneged on all the legal considerations made in order for this suspicious property transfer to have happened.
The indignant babymama refused to close her CCB account and destroy the remaining sperm upon my husband’s requests. She Challenged both us and the CCB, claiming that my husband’s sperm (acquired by frauds) was her sole, legal property !
In order to determine who owned the suspect, remaining sperm still in CCB ‘s possession, CCB told us we needed to go to court to litigate the matter. Forcing us to hire a lawyer to protect our interests in the disputed sperm property, which had been taken hostage and was being held for a $60K ransom by the evil, succubus from HELL.
CCB did agreed to “freeze” the disputed account, because of the woman’s ever growing, outrageous conduct, exposure of her lies, hoaxes and other obvious crimes and deceptions. Their policies and contract dictated that if the social parasite “was married”, then technically her real husband’s written consent was required to open an account! Voiding the storage contract.
The petulant shrew threw herself into a fit of indignant rage. With her twisted, perverted tantrums she decided to show us who had true integrity and who held the moral high ground. Declaring that if we wanted a war, she would gladly wage a WAR on us and our marriage.
She continued her madness by holding my husband’s sperm hostage and for ransom for the next 18 months. In fact, she threatened him with procreating other unwanted, possible spawns unless he gave into her extortion demands.
In 2008, the sociopathic Stalker submitted colorful pleadings and perjurious declarations to the court to procure inappropriate paternity actions against the sperm donor. She rewrote history and described this prior incident with the California Cryobank (during 2001 to 2003) to the judge as us – contemptuously harassing her, (by us merely hiring a lawyer (in 2002) to deal with her frauds) and perjured documents and lies, – and to mischaracterize our actions as somehow, an aggressive, “vindictive” attack on her dignity and indignant integrity. An unwarranted intrusion on her rights of privacy and liberty rights to create and raise her conceptions as she damn well pleased, without any outsider interferences.
It is a Good thing … Big numbers on lawsuits have a way of humbling the most arrogant !
If ardent feminists want to yell loudly … “Women’s bodies, Women’s choices !!!” … Then how about arguing it should then be a Women’s total responsibility ?
Look, If some perverted, sperm-stalking psycho-bitch or mentally-deficient harridan wants to gallivant about the streets, being wildly promiscuous and unencumbered by life’s realities and consequences, choosing to have unprotected sex and then later on making the unilateral, one sided choice to bear a child… then by all means, go ahead with your little vanities, have at it. But you dear, are on your on. If you want to play in the big girl leagues, you need to be the one who pays for your absurd indiscretions and choices.
Just don’t ask me ( the betrayed wife) to pay for your adultery, sins or your vain, malicious procreation choices. Unless you want me to now also play a MOMMY role ?