Of course I know where most of the blame lies in this baby-mama “by-choice” psychodrama. Without a doubt, my ego-centric, selfish husband played his full part in allowing this obsessed, sperm stalker’s crimes of moral turpitude to get out of hand.
That said, once you review the webs of deceit and sordid details of their narcissistic entanglement, you realize that this manipulative, duplicitous, conniving succubus from hell purposely targeted my husband, charming her way into his business circle and personal life. Plotting and scheming to take advantage, like most sexual predators.
When she set her sights on him, she sized him up, determining what emotional vulnerabilities were exploitable, and making herself “professionally” useful to him. She mirrored his work values. She “love bombed” him with gratuitous attention, quickly declaring that she was his “soul mate” and his “dream-girl”, even though both of them were married to other people.
He fell hook line and sinker for her many sad tales of woe, quick tears and pity ploys.
She manipulated him with blackmailung tactics to emotionally pressure him into agreeing to act as a party to a secret reproductive arrangement. She asked him to act as a known sperm donor.
How could he ever rationally think, after being placed in this compromised situation, that he could make a Faustian deal with this menacing reprobate and assume that there would be no detrimental consequences or blow back for such a gift of life. As the saying goes: “No good deed goes unpunished”.
Cornered, cozened and covertly worn down by her veiled and scary threats, a victim of emotional leverage and false promises, he reluctantly agreed to her absurd propositions to participate in her gamesmanship of gamete transactions. He went with her to the Palo Alto, California CryoBank to donate his sperm, under the explicit understanding that he would be legally protected from any future consequences arising from her procreation choices, pursuant to CA. Family Code 7613(b) and contract law.
This “married woman ” pre selected the sperm bank, set up the account, filled out the paperwork and paid for all the storage services. She was required to have her then legal husband’s written consent to open the account. But, apparently she claimed the donor of the sperm was also her spouse, which of course confused the staff to circumvent the legal rules. Naturally, the staff didn’t care about facts, nor did they want to pry into her personal relationship details. Why risk the truth being exposed when their jobs and unborn children’s lives were at stake !
A potential mother’s entitlement to her protected reproductive privacy and liberty interest rights to procreate, by any lie, trick or unethical means necessary, are paramount, and more sacred than any other overriding public policy concerns. Or any considerations of the vested, protected, competing liberty and privacy interests of others people who get entangled up in this sordid situation, such as the unwitting wife of the sperm provider.
My husband signed over his rights to his valued sperm, documenting what the “intent of the parties” was for future legal purposes.
She finally got pregnant, a year later, by literally “stalking down” my husband and sexually assaulting him for his fresh sperm. When she confronted him by surprise, she claimed that the earlier donated sperm at the lab was not viable.
But, she pleaded that if he helped her, one last time, no one would ever know of the actual means of how she got pregnant, or the source of her sperm. She was under the care of intervening physicians, so of course she conceived her precious golden child. When she went to deliver her perfected spawn she told the hospital (under penalty of perjury) that she was married to my husband. So naturally they put his name on the birth certificate. Adding insult to this insanity and criminal felonies of ID theft and frauds, she audaciously named her child with my husband’s very identifying and unique names, or JR.. She did this deliberately to further her hoaxes and fallacious insinuations that there was a legal family connection, when there was not.
When the child was 5 months old I found out about here evil deeds and my husband’s unconscionable betrayals.
Naturally the shit hit the fan ! But later, once I actually heard her admit to all her cunning charades, subterfuge and heinous actions (by listening to phone calls that she thought were private between my husband and her), I called off the divorce. That was when I realized that was her plan.
She was flabbergasted that her malice to destroy my marriage went sideways. So she resorted to direct extortion plots by threatening to make other unwanted children through further IVF procedures with the sperm she was holding hostage at the CRYOBANK, unless my husband left me for her. Expised for the con artist she was, she demanded that we hand over to her a sixty thousand dollar ($60,000) ransom for the destruction of the remaining unused sperm. This was extortion framed as in exchange for correcting the birth certificate frauds, and as compensation in order to correct or change the child’s stolen names.
So much for all those feigned promises made to “my husband” to acquire his sperm so that this delusional woman could keep her private, procreative, adventures in parenting undercover. This woman is no more than a premeditated child abuser.
This child was intentionally conceived as a substitute relationship for my husband. She wanted to live vicariously through this mini replica of my husband’s DNA because my husband made it clear to her that he did not want a relationship with her. He thought that by giving her this gift, it would ease his guilt and she would go away. Fat chance that would happen.
At first, I was so gas-lighted and confused over all this emotional trauma, upheaval and mayhem in my life that I never really understood who or what we were dealing with. But I do now.
We both became collateral damage in the wake of the actions of this vengeful whore.
Oh well, you can’t fix stupid or evil.
Anyway, As any good wife understands, this sperm donor’s wife’s revenge strategy has been to just live my life as well as I can. Securing my best future.
Hopefully Karma and The Truth will be the undoing of this delusional shrew. Especially when the golden child seeks me out for answers as to why my husband abandoned him.
After all, his mother asked for these sad consequences when she inserted her unscrupulous self into my life without any guilt, shame or remorse.