Of course I know where most of the blame lies in this sick, baby-mama “by-choice” psychodrama. Without a doubt, my ego-centric, selfish husband played his full part in allowing this obsessed, sperm stalker’s crimes of moral turpitude to get out of hand.
That said, once you review the sordid details of their entanglement, you realize that this manipulative, deceitful, conniving succubus from hell purposely targeted and charmed her way into my husband’s business and personal life. Calculatingly plotting and scheming to take advantage with her sense of entitlement and chameleon-like ability to change persona. She suffers from that kind of “GONE GIRL” highly disordered psychopathy. Exhibiting the shocking and appalling behaviors of a malignant, narcissistic social predator or sociopath.
When she set her sights on my husband, she sized him up, determining his emotional vulnerabilities to make herself “professionally” useful to him. Mirroring his work values, she “love bombed” him with gratuitous attention, quickly declaring that she was his “soul mate” and dream-girl (even though both of them were married), charming the pants off of him.
He fell hook line and sinker for her many sad tales of woe, quick tears and pity ploys.
Her covert, underhanded, blindsiding tactics allowed her to emotionally blackmail and pressure my husband into agreeing to act as a party to a reproductive arrangement. Her request that he act “only” as a sperm donor ( because she was married, over 35 and her biological clock was in alarm mode ) was a charade, framed as a mutually-binding, legal consideration, exchanged for a graceful exiting of their past meretricious association.
How could he ever rationally think, after being placed in this compromised situation, that he could make a Faustian deal with this menacing reprobate and assume that there would be no detrimental consequences or blow back ? (HA-HA, not so funny, HA-HA !) As the saying goes: “No good deed goes unpunished”.
Cornered, cozened and worn down by her veiled threats, emotional leverage and false promises, he reluctantly agreed to her absurd propositions to participate in a pseudo-“anonymous”, gamete transfer transaction. He went with her to the Palo Alto, California CryoBank to donate his sperm, under the explicit understanding that he would be legally protected from any consequences arising from her procreation choices, pursuant to CA. Family Code 7613(b) and contract law.
This other ” married woman ” had selected the sperm bank, set up the account, filled out the paperwork and paid for the storage services. Her then legal husband’s written consent was required to open the account. But, apparently she claimed the donor of the sperm was also her spouse, which of course confused the staff. Naturally the staff didn’t want to pry into her personal relationship misrepresentations. Their jobs and unborn children’s lives were at stake !
A potential mother’s entitlement to reproductive privacy and the liberty right to procreate, by any lie, trick or unethical means necessary, are paramount and more sacred than any other overriding public policy concerns. Like any considerations of the vested, protected, competing interests of others entangled in this sordid situation, such as those of the wife of the sperm provider.
My husband signed over his rights to his valued sperm, documenting what the “intent of the parties” was for future legal purposes. Unfortunately, once this evil bitch got total power and control of her intended target’s reproductive little swimmers, there was no end to her reckless and lawless machinations and unabashed subterfuge. The audacity of her actions make one’s head spin in stunning disbelief.
She finally got pregnant a year later, by stalking down my husband and sexually assaulting him for fresh sperm. She confronted him and claimed the sperm at the lab was not viable and that if he helped her, one last time, no one would ever know of the actual means of how she got pregnant or the known source of her gamete supply . She was under the intervening care of her reproductive physicians, so of course she conceived her golden child. When she went to deliver her precious spawn she told the hospital (under penalty of perjury) that she was married to my husband. So naturally they put his name on the birth certificate. Adding to the insanity and criminal felonies of ID theft and frauds, she had the audacity to name her child with my husbands unique names ( JR.). She did this deliberately to further her hoax and false insinuations that there was a legal family connection when there was none.
When the child was 5 months old I found out about her treachery, frauds and my husband’s betrayals.
Naturally the shit hit the fan ! But later, when I actually heard her admit to her cunning subterfuge and heinous actions (over listened to phone calls that she thought were private between my husband and her), I called off the divorce.
She was flabbergasted that her malicious plans to destroy my marriage went awry, so she resorted to direct extortion plots. She threatened to make other unwanted children through IVF procedures with the sperm she was still holding hostage at the CRYOBANK, unless my husband left me for her (now that everything was exposed) or otherwise hand over to her a sixty thousand dollar ($60,000) ransom for the destruction of the remaining unused sperm. This was veiled as in exchange for correcting the birth certificate frauds and as compensation to change the child’s names.
So much for all those feigned promises made to “my husband” to acquire his sperm so that this delusional woman could keep her private, procreative, adventures in parenting undercover. This woman is no more than a premeditated child abuser.
This child was intentionally conceived as a substitute relationship for my husband. She wanted to live vicariously through this mini replica of my husband’s DNA because my husband made it clear to her that he did not want a relationship with her. He thought that by giving her this gift, it would ease his guilt and she would go away. Fat chance that would happen.
In the end everyone always pays to play with the devil.
At first, I was so gas-lighted and confused over all this emotional trauma, upheaval and mayhem in my life that I never really understood who or what we were dealing with. But I do now.
My husband was ruthlessly used and exploited. He was emotionally manipulated, conned and extorted. We both became collateral damage in the wake of the actions of this vengeful sociopath. Victims of the coldblooded, callous tactics of a narcissistic predator with a perverted, highly disordered, personality psyche. This clearly explains the why of her malicious smear campaign hurled at us out of revenge and spite, because she did not succeed in destroying our marriage. Despite her war against my perceived “gross inappropriateness” for fighting back to defend my marriage and for standing up against her bullying, envy and misplaced jealousy.
Oh well, you can’t fix stupid or evil.
Anyway, As any good wife understands, this sperm donor’s wife’s revenge strategy has been to just live my life as well as I can. Securing my best future. Reinforcing my boundaries within my marriage, loving my remorseful, accountable husband despite his stupid, horrible betrayals and protecting myself from her unconscionable vitriol by exposing her deceitful agenda to others.
Hopefully Karma and The Truth will be the undoing of this delusional shrew’s treachery when the golden child seeks me out for answers as to why my husband abandoned him.
After all, his mother asked for these sad consequences when she inserted her unscrupulous self into my life without any guilt, shame or remorse.